Welcome to your sex life, 2007, where the bases have changed (but they’re
still all loaded), we’re plugging in to get turned on, and we ed tablets
and
treat erectile dysfunction the best each other more than ever, depending on the day. How to make
sense of it and get more of what you want? We went into real people’s bedrooms
(someone had to) to discover their deepest, sexiest secrets (and a few
missteps). We also surveyed the country on what’s happening in bed (don’t miss
out), and we asked the guys at men’s mag Esquire to tell us what men
really want. Don’t worry; we told them a few things, too. Indulge yourself.
In the erectile dysfunction tabs
Marie Claire/Esquire national survey, we got more
than 1700 adults between the ages of 21 and 49 to tell us you horny things
exactly what it is you do between the sheets…and at your computer, on your
desk, on the first date, in the elevator, and more. Now we know the real reason
viagra vs levitra
so addicted to their BlackBerries, what’s wrong with cyberflirting,
and how many times a week you’re getting it on. The truth, by the numbers.
ARE YOU ABOVE AVERAGE IN BED?
Average number of…
times per week you have sex: 2.6 for men; 2.3 for women
partners in lifetime: 14 for men; 11 for women
times per week you masturbate: 3.8 for men; 1.6 for women
MAYBE WOMEN JUST TYPE FASTER
61% of men surf the Net for porn; about half of them spend an hour or more
per week doing it.
17% of women surf for porn; only a third put an hour or more into it.
ITS RESEARCH, I SWEAR!
14% of women have looked at porn on the Internet at work; 32% of men have.
What’s your sex secret?
“The only way I can get off is if I fantasize that I’m a secretary and I’m
doing it with my boss.” Michelle, 27
“I keep erotic stories in my iPod and secretly read a few while watching
TV with my boyfriend. That way, by the time we go to bed, I already have a head
start.” Brooke, 26
“I hate feet, so I always have sex with my socks on and I prefer if he
does, too.” Karen, 27
“I’m not getting any!” Kristy, 32
“My friends would be amazed if they knew the real number of men that I
have slept with. It’s up there.” Kimberly, 28
“I’ve been having sex with my ‘friend with benefits’ since my sophomore
year of college. We dated for four weeks and have been sleeping together for
four years.” Kristen, 23
“I didn’t sleep with a man because he had a small penis.” Carla,
26
“I’ve always wanted to do it in a public restroom.” Jaime, 27
“I lost my virginity on my dad’s 50th birthday.” Gina, 27
Sex Around the World: How We Stack Up
Is It Something in the Waffles?
People in Belgium are happiest with their sex lives; the Chinese, not so much,
ranking last on the satisfaction scale. (USA: tied with Croatia for fourth
place)
First to Lose It
40-year-old virgins? Not exactly, but in India, the average age of first sex is
19.8, the oldest in the world. (USA: 16.9 years old)
Film Buffs
Canadians and Americans are the most likely to have cameras rolling during
sex.
Busiest in Bed
The Greeks top the frequency charts, having sex an average 138 times per year;
the Japanese just 45 times a year. (USA: in 11th place, averaging 113 boinks
annually)
Why We’re Thinking of Moving Our Offices
Place you’re most likely to have sex at work: South Africa. (USA: fifth most
likely, same as Serbia and Erectile dysfunction tablets
)
Turkish Delight
People in Turkey have had more sex partners (14.5) than in any other country,
while in India, they have had the fewest (3). (USA: ranks 13th)
Good Vibrations
Vibrator use is highest in Taiwan. (USA: tied with the U.K. for second)
Top 5 Sex Videos We’ve Seen but Wish We Hadn’t
1. Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee
2. R. Kelly and the underage girl
3. One Night in Paris
4. Screech’s threesome
5. Bob Dole’s Viagra commercial
Top 5 Books That Sound Like They’re About Sex but Aren’t
1. The Call of the Wild , by Jack London
2. Anything by E.E. Cummings
3. Hard Times , by Charles Dickens
4. They Came Like Swallows , by William Maxwell
5. My Life , by Bill Clinton
Top 5 Roles We Wish We’d Been Cast In
1. Rose Byrne in Troy . Held captive and expected to service Brad
Pitt? The horror, the horror…
2. The mango in How Stella Got Her Groove Back the one caressed by
Taye Diggs’s tongue.
3. Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal . Sex with Woody Harrelson and
Robert Redford: What’s so indecent?
4. Shannyn Sossamon in 40 Days and 40 Nights . Josh Hartnett uses an
orchid on Sossamon to…well…let’s just say he gives “deflowering” a
new meaning.
5. Jake Gyllenhaal in BrokebackMountain. Heath Ledger is
rough and manly. Grrrr. Oh, and when he asks you to go fishing, you don’t
really have to go. We’d take that bait.
More Articles on Marie Claire.com
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Celebrity Body Secrets
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In the world of medicine, “breakthrough” is not a word taken
lightly. But the prestigious British medical journal BMJ soon plans to
name what it considers the greatest medical breakthrough since 1840 — the year
the journal was launched.
Last year, BMJ invited readers to submit nominations for the honor.
Now in contention are 15 medical advances, ranging from anesthesia to vaccines,
that over the decades have saved millions of lives and immeasurable human
suffering.
These cheap sildenafil citrate were culled from more than 100 nominations from
BMJ readers — mostly physicians and scientists — based on the
ability of each medical development to transform lives around the world.
Among the suggested breakthroughs that didn’t make the cut? Condoms, Viagra,
soap, exercise, and the mobile phone.
For the 15 advances that made the short list, BMJ has chosen 15
leading doctors and scientists to champion each milestone in contention for top
honor. These are respected medical experts, including the creator of the modern
birth
controlbirth control pill, a
descendent of the scientist who helped developed anesthesia, and the author of
a book on the history of penicillin.
Beginning Friday, Jan. 5, subscribers and the general public can log onto
the web site, read arguments for all 15 advances, and vote for their personal
favorite. The deadline for voting is Sunday, Jan. 14, and the winning
breakthrough will be announced Jan. 18 on the site.
The Nominations, Please
Here is a sneak peek and description of the 15 advances that made the
shortlist, to give you a running start:
-
Anesthesia: In 1846, a Boston dentist used ether during
surgery, putting an end to much of the pain of undergoing surgery. Since then,
general anesthesia has become a mainstay in operations.
-
Antibiotics: Alexander Fleming, a British bacteriologist,
discovered penicillin in 1928 by accident when he sloppily left a Petri dish of
bacteria uncleaned in his lab. He found a substance (later named penicillin)
growing on it that killed the bugs, and thus was the beginning of modern-day
antibiotics. Fleming shared the Nobel Prize in 1945 for the discovery.
-
Chlorpromazine: Discovered in 1952, low price viagra
(Thorazine) was the first cialis vs viagra
medication. It was used to treat
psychotic disorders and their symptoms, such as hallucinations, hostility, and
delusions. Its development brought new understanding of the biological basis
for mental illness, and some say it provided more humane management.
-
Computers. From medical records to insurance, to making
sure your new medication isn’t going to clash with an existing one, computers
are now viewed by some doctors as being as important as their stethoscopes.
They’ve been in use in medicine since the early 1960s. Doctors can access
information on new drugs and interactions, new medical studies, clinical
trials, or keep patient records stored at their fingertips — so they’ll know
in an instant if you really have kept the weight off.
-
DNA structure. Scientists James Watson and Francis Crick
presented the structure of the DNA helix, the molecule responsible for carrying
genetic information from one generation to the next, in 1953. It earned them
the Nobel Prize in 1962.
-
Evidence-based medicine. As the name suggests,
evidence-based medicine involves making use of the current best evidence (such
as research), a patient’s values, and a doctor’s clinical experience to make
decisions about patient care. The term was coined in the early ’90s and the
concept has been evolving ever since.
More Nominations
-
Germ theory. In the late 1800s, Louis Pasteur was the
first to suggest the theory that disease is caused by exposure to
microorganisms. Others furthered the theory, showing that specific diseases are
caused by specific “bugs.”
-
Imaging. The X-ray was erectile dysfunction remedy
discovered in 1895.
Since then, the field has expanded, giving us computed tomography (CT scans),
positron emission (PET scans), magnetic resonance imaging (MRIs), and
ultrasound.
-
Immunology. The history of immunology is traced to 1798,
when Edward Jenner found that people could be immunized against the disease
smallpox. Numerous other immunology discoveries followed, leading to a greater
understanding of such things as allergiesallergies and antibodies.
-
Oral rehydration therapy. As the name suggests, ORT
involves giving fluids by mouth to replace losses of body water. It was first
reported in 1964; now it’s a mainstay of treatment in patients with cholera,
acute diarrheadiarrhea, and other conditions.
-
The pill. Since the pill arrived on the U.S. market in
1960, it’s been hailed as one of the seven wonders of the world. For women who
use it correctly, oral contraceptioncontraception can be up to 99% effective.
-
Risks of smoking. The first report of the connection
between smoking and lung cancerlung cancer was published in BMJ in 1950. Even so,
tobacco use still kills an estimated 440,000 Americans each year.
-
Sanitation. The importance of clean drinking water and
waste disposal emerged in the late 1800s, as diseases began to be linked to
impure water. But the World Health Organization says there is a long way to go.
More than 1.1 billion people still lack access to drinking water from an
improved source; 2.6 billion do not have basic sanitation.
-
Tissue culture. Tissue culture (keeping tissue alive and
growing it in a culture medium for research or other purposes) was
“discovered” in 1907, but it took until the 1950s for it to become an
important tool for clinical investigation.
-
Vaccines. Vaccines have helped prevent a variety of
diseases — including polio, whopping cough, and measlesmeasles. The first was Edward Jenner’s smallpox
vaccine, in 1796.
The Envelope, Please
To vote, visit www.bmj.com.
edmedicine, and more another.
March 23, 2007 — Women report better sexuality and improved self-esteem
after cosmetic breast augmentation surgery, a University of Florida study
shows.
Cynthia Figueroa-Haas, PhD, clinical assistant professor at the University
of Florida College of Nursing, advertised for volunteers in the offices of
cosmetic plastic surgeons. Eighty-four women completed questionnaires on
self-esteem and sexuality before and after cosmetic breast augmentation
surgery.
Overall, the women didn’t have particularly low self-esteem or particularly
poor sexual function prior to surgery. But both aspects of their lives
significantly improved after they got breast implants.
“They were already OK with self-esteem and sexuality — they just wanted
larger breasts,” Figueroa-Haas tells WebMD. “They got increased levels
of self-esteem and sexuality.”
Figueroa-Haas bristles at the idea that it’s frivolous for women to want to
improve their body image. Body image, she says, is an important factor in a
woman’s self-esteem.
“A lot of people consider plastic surgery a procedure that doesn’t need
to be done. They say women should stay with their bodies and what God gave them
and be satisfied. I don’t agree,” she says. “This procedure does change
women’s price viagra viacreme
issues. There are differences in life satisfaction
between people with good and poor self-esteem.”
Figueroa-Haas reports her findings in the January/March issue of Plastic
Surgical Nursing.
Sex and Breast Augmentation
After getting breast implants, women experienced every measure of sexuality
more strongly, Figueroa-Haas found. After breast augmentation, women reported
significant increases in arousal, sexual desire, sexual satisfaction, and
lubrication.
Figueroa-Haas says women tend to be left out of the discussion when it comes
to enhancing sexuality.
“Improved sexuality is not all about men’s sexuality and Viagra,”
she says. “It is a subject women even have trouble discussing with other
women. But women who suffer sexuality issues feel like they are not feminine
enough.”
Despite the benefits she finds in cosmetic breast augmentation,
Figueroa-Haas warns that surgery cannot address serious underlying issues women
may have.
“This isn’t a cure-all. If you have underlying psychological issues,
don’t run out and see a plastic surgeon. These issues have to be addressed
first,” she says.
That’s a very important point, agrees clinical cure dysfunction erectile David B. Sarwer,
PhD, director of the weight and eating disorders program at the University of
Pennsylvania. Sarwer has studied psychological issues surrounding breast
augmentation surgery.
“Sure, body image is an important part of self-esteem,” Sarwer tells
WebMD. “But self-esteem is based on all sorts of things other than body
image. It may be viagra vs levitra to think that, just by having breast augmentation,
a woman will improve her overall self-esteem.”
Sarwer has found that women who seek cosmetic breast surgery have their own,
personal motivations. They are not, as stereotype would have it, trying to
please their husbands or boyfriends.
Sarwer says women considering breast implants should consider three
things:
- A woman should make sure it is what she wants. She should not seek plastic
surgery under pressure from someone else.
- “A breast implant is unlikely to change women’s lives in any major
way,” Sarwer says. “They may get some positive attention, but they may
also suffer negative attention. For everyone who says you look great, there may
be whispers down the lane: ‘She is too big, too showy.’”
- Some women seeking breast implants suffer from a serious psychological
problem called body dysmorphic disorder: erectile dysfunction tablets
concern over
relatively minor physical erectile dysfunction tabs
. Both Sarwer and Figueroa-Haas warn
that women must be evaluated for this condition before surgery.
And Sarwer warns that researchers are now becoming aware of a dark side to
breast implants: suicide.
“What we think is going on here, although we are not sure, is these
women have some pathology, perhaps clinical depression, prior to surgery,”
he says. “And when implants don’t improve their depression, these women
become suicidal. For women with profound underlying issues, there is something
going on here that is potentially dangerous.”
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Nov. 19, 2004 — Here’s the disturbing fact you probably already know: As a
woman ages and hormone levels drop, so too can her enjoyment of — and
oftentimes desire for — sex.
Here’s the good news: Though saying goodbye to hormones and sex may happen
in the same breath, the latest research indicates that sexual desire has less
to do with this change than it does with lifestyle and other health
factors, at least some of which are under a woman’s direct control.
These are the encouraging results reported by a group of distinguished
European sex experts this month in the first ever supplement to
Menopause, the journal of the North American Menopause Society.
“The findings have helped healthcare dysfunction erectile pill
discard the notion
that sexual difficulties occurring close to menopause are either biologic or
physiologic,” writes Rosemary Basson, FRCP, a professor of psychiatry and
of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of British Columbia and guest
editor of the special issue.
The new research was part of a series of studies conducted on female sexual
dysfunction by the department of clinical psychiatry and psychotherapy at
Hannover Medical School in Hannover, Germany. As part of the overall project,
102 women aged 20 to “45 plus” answered 165 queries designed to flush
out determinants of female sexual avoid generic viagra
.
Over the counter erectile dysfunction drug
, researchers hoped to determine satisfaction with sex life in
general, sexual satisfaction and orgasm during intercourse, petting,
masturbation, attitudes towards sexuality, quality of partnership, and sexual
myths.
What the study found: There appeared to be no age differences with respect
to frequency of sexual intercourse or the desire for sexual activity not
involving intercourse among the differing age groups.
Moreover, age did not make a difference in regard to frequency of orgasm or
in sexual satisfaction ratings with their partners. For example, 29% of women
up to age 45 reported having orgasms “very often,” compared with 26% of
women over age 45.
Even more dramatic was that while 41% of women over age 45 reported having
orgasms “often,” only 29% of younger women reported having orgasm
“often.”
Among the few differences in the groups: Women over 45 reported having fewer
orgasms during erectile pill sexual activity or during masturbation. Both
groups of women reported a dual dimension necessary for successful lovemaking
that included having both feelings of emotional closeness to their partner and
satisfactory physical experiences.
After comparing all the answers from both older and younger women, as well
as from women who reported sexual problems and those who did not, researchers
concluded that the single most influential factor with regard to sexual
satisfaction via intercourse was the quality of the partnership, in particular
the quality of mutual respect, which then becomes of greater importance as a
woman ages.
After comparing these study results to earlier and ongoing findings, the
researchers concluded that the basis of any sexual problems that did occur at
midlife could not be drawn from menopause status or age alone. Instead, they
write, “Life stressors, contextual factors, past sexuality, and mental
health problems are more significant predictors of midlife women’s sexual
interest than menopause status itself.”
The study was one of just several research papers presented in the journal
this month on the subject of female sexual dysfunction. All strived to shed
much needed light on a subject that some believe has been hidden in the shadows
too long.
For NYU professor of gynecology Steven Goldstein, MD, the findings validate
what he has long suspected to be true.
“It’s quite wonderful that this is being studied and that the results
reinforce what I, and I think many doctors have long believed — that this
whole issue of changes in midlife sexual function is not a simple case of ‘take
away the hormones, take away the desire,’” Goldstein tells WebMD.
Moreover, he adds that “As we go forward, understanding all of the
complex, non-hormonal elements that affect a woman’s sexuality remains crucial,
particularly when deciding who is a candidate for a hormonal treatment that
might help increase desire and who might benefit more from simple lifestyle
changes,” says Goldstein.
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By Sarah Mahoney
Youve Said It. Youve Heard It. How To Put That Excuse To
BedAnd Get Back In The Mood
Be honest. How many times have you turned down sex this month? Even the best
marriages have sexual cold fronts and everyday impotence devices
a crushing work
deadline, a sick parent, or an acting-out teenthat can put the chill on
romance. But when sex evasion turns into a daily habit, marriage can become an
arctic zone. After all, there’s room for only so many nights of “Do we have
to? I’ve got a bad headache” before serious problems set in.
“It helps many couples to think of sex as a bank account,” says Lana
Holstein, M.D., author of Your Long Erotic Weekend . “If you just
got back from a vacation where you had lots of time alone, then saying I’m too
wiped out tonight’ isn’t a problem. But if you haven’t had much sex in the last
six months, then it took your husband some courage to ask. If you say no, that
can be damaging.”
And both partners, not just the avoider, are harmed. “The spouse with
more desire feels rejected, and the spouse with less desire feels coerced,”
says Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., author of Rekindling Desire: A Step-by-Step
Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages .
If you’re the avoider, try putting yourself in your husband’s shoes. Says
Dr. Holstein, who coaches clients at Miraval Resort in Tucson, AZ: “When a
wife turns down sex, what does she want her husband to do instead? Should he go
masturbate? My clients usually say, No, I don’t want him to do that!’ Nor do
they want him to spend an hour on a pornography Web site.”
Another reason to say yes when your husband makes a move: It’s good for your
health. “Sex, and the cuddling that comes with it, releases all kinds of
chemicals women need,” says Dr. Holstein, “including mood-boosting
hormones like dopamine, erectile dysfunction tablets
, and oxytocin.” What’s more, a study
from Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, PA, found that couples who had sex
regularly had higher levels of disease-fighting antibodies than those who
didn’t.
So it’s time to outsmart your excuse-making self (don’t listen to hershe’s
probably just grouchy from wearing sweatpants too often). Here, six common
cop-outs, and what to say insteadto your husband and yourself:
“Didn’t we just do it last week?”
Mismatched desire is one of the most common complaints marriage counselors
hearbut experts say that the excuse is pure baloney. “Two different people
will never have exactly the same desire, drive, and timing,” says Rick
Warren, the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, CA, and author
of the best-selling book The Purpose Driven Life . “Sometimes you
have to make love for the benefit of the other person, even though you may not
need it yourself at the moment.”
“There’s no such thing as the right level of desire. Normal is usually
whatever the desired frequency is for that couple,” adds Gerald R. Weeks,
Ph.D., chairman of the marriage and family therapy erectile dysfunction answers
at the University
of Nevada, Las Vegas. (In case you’re curious about what other couples consider
normal, here are stats from University of Chicago researchers: About 38 percent
of married women have sex a few times a week; 47 percent a few times a month;
and 15 percent a few times a year.)
What to say to yourself:
Remember your wedding day? When you said “I do,” you said “I
do” to sex too. “Even though you may not have promised to love, honor,
and have sex once a week,’ when you made a commitment to your relationship, it
was understood that sex would be part of the bargain,” say Patricia Love
and Steven Stosny, authors of How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking
About It . And, yes, sometimes you have to be the instigator. When it
comes to different levels of desire, “the ball is in the court of the
person who wants it less,” says Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., author of the
forthcoming Prime: Advice and Adventures from a Sexologist on Life and Love
in the Sensuous Years .
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By Keith Ablow, M.D.
Rekindling Passion For The Husband You Still Love
People sometimes tell me they know a couple married 20 years whose sex life
is still as good as it ever was. Here’s what I tell them in return: “There
are only three possibilities. One: This couple is lying. Two: They are telling
the truth, because they didn’t have good sex to begin with. Or three: Sex is
all they really have together. They never connected emotionally.”
I’ve drawn that conclusion by listening to the many dozens of husbands and
wives I’ve counseled, almost all of whom have admitted that after 10 or 20
years of marriage, passion became elusive.
Sharing lives is different from sharing dinners and long walks and weekends
away. When you were dating the man you ultimately married, you were both acting
much of the time (consciously or not), putting your best feet forward in order
to be attractive to each other.
When you were sick or had a bad headache, you probably pretended it was no
big deal. So did he. Now when your stomach is upset, you feel free to tell him
you’re about to throw up.
When you had an argument with a close friend or your sister, you might have
told him, “It really wasn’t the best day, but it’s getting better now that
we’re together.” He might have smiled, taken your hand, and said, “Tell
me what happened. I want to know.” Now when he asks how your day was, you
might just say, “Fine,” and leave it at that. And he might be happy to
leave it at that too.
Nobody would write that kind of dialogue into a romantic movieunless it was
a sad or serious one. But that’s how married people generally talk because no
one can always act adoring or keep up an air of mystery while sharing the same
space with his or her spouse, year after year. Here are the truths about sex,
as I’ve learned from years of counseling, for most married couples:
Love is constant; passion needs recharging
No surprise: Everything in the universe eventually dysfunction pills
when left in
proximity to something of the opposite charge. Magnets do, and men and women do
too. Some people fall out of lust in seven days, never mind seven yearsor 17.
Basic animal erectile pill is a force of nature that seems designed to make us
matenot mate for life. Relaxing in our marriages and freeing ourselves from
the pressure of trying to impress our partners has a predictable outcome: Our
partners are not impressed. The magnetic spell we once cast on them begins to
lift.
Cozy is comfortable, but not sexy
To the extent that men and women become real to each other, they cease to be
princes and princesses, gods and goddesses who inspire romantic fantasies or
amorous worship. Since couples lucky enough to be emotionally genuine with each
other share so many real moments, they need to pay special attention to
creating magical onesbecause great sex requires magic. I’d never suggest that
a couple trade their warm, safe home life for better sex. Why keep your
distance just so you can make love with abandon? I believe you can have a close
marriage and recapture a good sex lifebut only once you admit that reigniting
romance takes creativity and a commitment of time and energy.
Intimacy doesn’t equal sex
When a man and a woman reveal themselves to each other, it makes each person
feel more vulnerable. And, particularly for men, it’s hard to have amazing sex
while feeling emotionally exposed. Our earliest erectile dysfunction medicine
with being close
come from our ed pills
with parents. And those relationships aren’t (in
any normal scenario) linked with sexual passion. That’s why some husbands and
wives are open about what pleases them sexually only when they have affairs.
They feel as if they have to be free of “family” to be free with their
amorous impulses.
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